Apr 30, 2009
Apr 27, 2009
What will you do today?
The idea is that the first five people to post a comment on this blog entry will receive something special from me sometime in the next year! Then you look for people to pay it forward to yourself.
Here's how it works:
1. Leave a comment letting me know you'd like to participate. You must be willing to provide me with a mailing address, obviously.
2. Post a "Pay it Forward" on your blog where you link back to me and extend the same offer to five of your readers. (again, if you don' have a blog, you can still participate maybe over FB, Twitter or just in 'real life' situations!)
3. Promise that you will follow through and send something special to those five who comment on your blog (or however you choose to do it!)
The little something's don't have to be extravagant, just something that you select with that specific person in mind.
So there you have it...are you in? Leave a comment if you want to participate!
Apr 22, 2009
Apr 21, 2009
This one won't let me embed - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOtkSPjcMi0&NR=1
(Ok, I'm not really serious about the friend thing, but seriously?! How could you not laugh out loud at this?!)
"Today on Do Something Monday, I have decided to do some homework. I plan to contact someone who is in position to explain all of the ins and outs of my potential decision. And then I plan to learn more about other possible solutions to help. That's all I can say for now as this is something very personal and I fear that opinions may sway what I ultimately decide."
My something was a friend in need of a kidney. I found out that a very dear friend from church had been sick and her kidneys were failing. My initial reaction was ok, I'll give her one of mine. I didn't say this out loud of course but I immediately went into research mode learning all that I could about the process, procedure, prognosis, etc... for both parties. There were a lot of factors to consider, two of the most important being the age of both of us (one somewhat young and the other somewhat older) and the impact on my ability to have children one day. Ultimately, by the time I was in the end stages of my research I found out that her family was being tested, and from what I understand they are still going through the process.
I don't necessarily deal with change well. Afterall, I haven't had to "change" much in the last 10+ years of my life - and when I did have change, it was very minor in the grand scheme of things. Change, however, is part of life. It is a necessary part of life. But that doesn't mean that I welcome it too graciously. I wouldn't say I resist it, rather I am slow to embrace it.
I want to like change. I want very much to like it. But it's my nature to be quite the opposite. I am SO a creature of habit. And comfort. When I look back at my life, I haven't always been this way. I would have NEVER gone to the places I have been or done the things I have done in my life if I was really and truly afraid of change. I'm not sure when I became so hesitant. It would be nice to know, because as Dr. Phil says, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge..." So if I could pin point something then I could totally change it all around.
I'm slowly warming up to change. I am. I really am. I've read some great blog posts this week that have been helpful - if for no other reason than to ensure my sanity! No really, they've helped confirm that it is not just me. I really love the blog world. These posts have come at a time when I really needed them. I don't think it's coincidence either. ;)
Heather wrote this one:
Do you have someone in your life that makes you think?
Someone who looks at your life and is able to summarize it and explain it in words that were so deep in your heart, that you could not even put vocabulary to it? I have recently become friends with someone who does this for me. This is an email she sent me after she watched the Adoption Video #7 (about min 2). It was the day we met Losiah for the first time, which so happened to be Thanksgiving.
This was some of her words, how she got in my head, my heart, I don't know. But 2 years later she gets it. I have pushed these things away. Life got so chaotic and I never approached these thoughts again.
UNTIL NOW! Here you go...
"I got to watch you eating your Turkey dinner in Korea and I was watching you smile and feeling like you wanted to cry. Here you were at one of the most anticipated moments of your adult life and all you wanted was to be anywhere but there. Isn't that how it so often is for us? We long and we wait and we desire, but when reality happens...we want to run! :) I feel like that's me on a constant basis. How we want success, but sometimes we fear success more than we fear failure. It's safer to think in the negative terms of, "what if I don't succeed, or what if I never make it, or what if I can't get a job." Because then we seemingly have control over those situations...we can fall on the default of, "well, I knew it would never happen." But...if we become successful, we have no way of maneuvering through that outcome...we don't know what to expect or how to take our life to the next level...especially if we are in a mindset of letdowns and failures."
Oh this struck my soul.
I had just met my son and yet I was so let down.
The moment happened, but it was not like the movies.
He was cute... but he was not mine.
Carlos and I were together, but we felt so alone.
I wanted to be home with what I knew, what made me feel comfortable, what made me feel safe. Oh how life is funny. We long and we want, but then it happens and often we are let down. We all have dreams. Dreams of school, work, marriage, kids, retirement. We all long to have those dreams fulfilled, but often times when they are, we are not satisfied. Marriage, kids, work, retirement, what is it for you? Have you had a dream that has not turned out as you thought? H
Then today, my blog friend Suz posted a link to her friend's blog:
Like, the last thing I want to hear from people is, “don’t worry thing’s will be okay…it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done…you won’t care about all that…blah blah.”
I know those things, but I don’t want to accept them at this point, you know?
I don’t want to hear a bunch of typical niceties from people. The bottom line is, you get used to living a certain way and when a ton of things change all at once, its hard to handle, no matter who you are.
I’m used to living a certain way and lately every time I turn around, something else is changing and I can’t just do things anymore. Between my mom moving in, Mikey’s pillage and plunder of a good majority of our house, and the physical changes I’m having to go through, not to mention all the changes coming very shortly down the road, it’s just all so much at one time.
Help me. Tell me how you deal with change. What works for you?
Apr 20, 2009
I'd like to think these two geese will be friendly but I'm not sure they'll come around often enough to get to know us - but they should because there are at least ten of us that rotate feeding the turtles in the pond. These geese don't know what they might be missing! I might have to buy some cracked corn if I see them again!
Apr 18, 2009
After walking through the craft tents we listened to the bag pipes and then headed to a tea house for lunch. Mom and I splilt vegetable lasagna, blackbean salad, and a strawberry smoothie. Yum. K was also there and had a turkey salad sandwich, it was good too!
After the festival we all went on a walk but it's SO warm here today that we're all exhausted now, so I don't think I'll be trying any new things today... I'll be sure to pick up my next food combo at the grocery tomorrow.
Apr 16, 2009
Apr 15, 2009
We laugh about it, somehow it leads to declawing cats and circumcision... and I am back in the office and have to go. Do you love that I leave you hanging on how we got to all of that? I don't really remember to tell you the truth. We initially talked about applique, so go figure.
So... what is your weird food? I'm very curious and I think that maybe this weekend I'll humor you all by tasting your weird food.
I don't eat red meat or seafood so while I still want you to share, I'm not going to taste that thankyouverymuch.
It seems only fitting that I say happy hump day to end this post.
Apr 13, 2009
My friend, Nola's "Aunt" Karlei, brought a fun little Easter basket for Nola last week. I gave her the stuffed lamb that was in it and this is how much fun she had! I'd also like to note that the sheep/cow that's on the floor was from Aunt Karlei and Uncle Luke at Christmas. Spoiled dog? Crazy dog lady? Okay...
This is one of the bears from our hiking trip last Friday. Turbo was SO funny -- he was digging in wet sand and then out of nowhere ploughed into the water. I tried to get it on video but somehow missed it. You can hear his mama laughing in the background, I think we were all laughing - he was such a riot! Now if he could only teach Gator how to love the water...
Apr 12, 2009
Apr 10, 2009
Nola came home and went straight to her crate (very odd for her). I later found her here... the camera was obviously no longer welcomed... oh well. Sleepy, grumpy, and just plain worn out will do that to anyone.
Off to the bookstore to see what Easter books they may have on sale... then hitting up the fabric store before coming back home to collapse.
Anyone going to Good Friday service? I'm skipping tonight but will plan on Easter vigil tomorrow evening.
Apr 7, 2009
Apr 6, 2009
When I post a comment, sometimes I'll 'subscribe' to the replies to it but other times I will not. What do you do? Do you subscribe to comments every time you comment, just sometimes, or never at all?
When replying to comments, is it etiquette to just reply to others' comments on my blog or go to the person's blog?
I do a little of both because I'm never sure... well ok, sometimes I do know but only because I have tens (twos?) of dedicated stalkers who know exactly who they are. :P And my sister.
So... fill me in! What does one do???
Apr 5, 2009
My favorite part:
'Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life'
This was posted on Angie's blog. Her husband passed away in December after a dirt bike accident. A family friend set up a blog so people could pray for their family... Angie posted this video and when I watched it, I was reminded of Easter, and what it truly means. Angie and her son Nolan (great name, isn't it? :)) still need prayer, stop by their blog to read their story.
'...the life of a Christian is never about sameness. It's always about change. That's why we must learn to survive and once again thrive...'
My revelation: I am a swamp.
Not just any swamp, a really gross one. Plastic bottles bob up and down, mosquitos swarm the surface, algae and thick mud line the top and bottom of the stagnant, standing water. There's probably some dead stuff in there somwhere. I'd say completely lifeless, but did you catch the part about algae and mosquitos? Lovely! Please, come and visit me!
I like routine. I like habit. But I like it because it's safe. I swear I should be a risk analyzer. I feel like the guy in Along Came Polly.
Now, picture this: A river. Flowing. Fish swim through the rocks and pebbles that line the bottom. Beautiful clear water rushing through the channel. Flowers in bloom on the banks. Birds chirping from trees that fill spaces in the green grass nearby.
Why am I afraid of this?! Clearly it is a much prettier picture. Wait, I know why. The rocks. Big ones, small ones, heavy ones, tiny ones. But the river is still flowing and it still has its beauty. Hmmm... teach me, river.
Change is like a river. It's flowing. It's healthy. My fear of change is keeping me from moving forward. For the past several years, nothing has changed. Sure, I've started a different job here or there, brought Nola into my life, been to places here and there... but everything has been safe. It's been comfortable. I can feel change breathing on me. I can feel change stirring in my heart and stirring around me every day. I'm slowly warming up to the idea of embracing it.
Apr 4, 2009
Apr 3, 2009
So -- everyone that emailed me about a bag -- I'll be working on them this weekend!!
Can't wait to upload the pics! Right now, I'm too excited and I'm going to have to start cutting out some bags! Will post some pics later!!!
Apr 1, 2009