Money. Root of evil?

I'm inching towards a limb today. Mainly because I've got money on my mind. I hate it. No, I love it. It means that I can eat, sleep in my bed, warm my house, care for my 3 furries, and help others. At the same time, I hate it because it's tempting to be selfish. My television died last week. I bought a new one. I knew I would be needing a new one but I didn't realize how soon that would be. I found a used one for a fraction of the cost a new one would have been. I didn't pay for it all at once. Thankfully, my family knows the owner of the store so I paid half and can pay the balance as I am able.

Did I really need a new TV though? Seriously.

Luka is scheduled to have his teeth cleaned next week because he'll be 9 this year and has awful yuck in his mouth. Nola has been growling at me (her new name is Gator) over random things. She needs a behavior consult. It's not free. The taxes on my car just arrived in my mailbox. I'm behind on my neighborhood homeowners' dues. Oh, and while we're at it, let's just toss in all the credit card bills and other household statements.

And then... I see that the She Speaks conference is going to be in Charlotte this year -- NC! Oh how much fun it would be to meet some of the bloggers whose blogs I stalk on a daily basis! And I don't even have to fly anywhere -- it's only a few hours away!

I won't be going. There is no money for things like this. I suppose there could be but that wouldn't be using good judgement in spending. And aside from that, I am reminded of the conferences that David has wanted to attend in Kampala. A couple of years ago he and his wife Linda attended the Watoto conference and were able to make a lot of great contacts for Hope Aid. It was awesome! It took two of us to pay for their registration but we made it happen! This past year, we weren't as fortunate so they were unable to go.

I got a second job last summer and it has been a life saver financially -- it's an extra little bit each month that I've been really good about putting towards debt. But there are some months when I still feel like I'm swimming. I try not to look at the giant picture and instead focus on the corners, but it's not always easy.

I don't know why I'm writing all of this... frustration? Last week, I went to pick up my Bible study book I ended up buying a Dave Ramsey money makeover book -- I had to laugh at the fact that I'd made an impluse buy, on a debt book, at the Christian bookstore, and didn't walk out with what I'd gone in to get! I still laugh at that a little bit.

Speaking of -- I have the best Bible study buddy ever! Jess scanned all of the pages in our book that I'd need to catch up while I wait for the two-day delivery of my book. Thanks Jess!! And Abbie sent the intro listening guide so I could follow that! Thanks Abbie!!

I feel like I owe my blog a better post this afternoon. I often feel bad about posting things like this but then I'm reminded why I started this blog - to reflect and to grow. And I can't very well do that without being honest with myself and with others. That being said... I'm peacing out and heading back to work.