Jan 12, 2010

There is a time

Today I saw a strong man; I watched him lie still and studied the movement in his chest from every breath he took. I told him, "I love you," and got to hear it back. I held his hand and felt his squeeze, knowing he was giving me priceless ounces of energy - energy he was losing and would not get back. He opened his eyes and allowed me to see him, in short moments of time.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breath. He reached out to hold a hand; a hand means he is not alone. No, he is not alone. We are with him. God is with him. Dr. Patton said, "you are going on a journey; a journey out of this life." He nodded that he understood. Dr. Patton said a prayer. The Holy Spirit filled the room.

Overwhelming peace.

As much as I don't want to see him leave this life, to know that he understands his journey brings me peace - brings us all peace. That we are able to spend special moments with him gives us immense joy. Our hearts are heavy, but they are full. God's grace has given us this precious time. Our Creator is preparing us for his departure - his entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Soon, we will hear Psalm 121 and we will sing a joyful song unto the Lord for the life we once knew. We will listen to the words of the Fisherman's Prayer and celebrate life.

There is a time for all things. Sometimes unexpected, sometimes ignored - but that time comes whether we are ready, or not.

Our lives on earth are merely a vapor in the time of the earth. We are here for yet moments... How is it that we can be living, but dying at the same time? To have part of us in one world and another somewhere else. To know that we are transitioning to another place... leaving the world as we know it and all that we know behind. Our physical being was not created to withstand years upon years, our shell wears out and we peel back the layer to reveal who we really are - spiritual beings in a physical world.

Someone who is alive, is living - but someone whose body is shutting down, is both living and dying. Death is inevitable, it's how the world has continued to flourish and grow, yet it doesn't get easier to do. It is painful. When the body is shutting down, it is not painfree. It is not simple. There is an order to which it will happen. We know what to expect. We understand. We wait.

We enjoy our time. It is a gift. The present, it's a gift.

My face is hot, my head throbs with swollen eyes, but I will not forget the gift we have been given.

My grandfather was a strong man. He was quick, firm, smart, and funny. He instilled in me, a love for Africa. His travels inspired me and thus have made me who I am.

I will miss his laugh, the way his shoulders gently roll as he smirks and squints his eyes. I will miss him simply being - but in the next few days, I will just enjoy him - watching him breathe, watching him live.

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.


Jill Foley said...

Wow Gin...this is powerful.

Praying for you!

pippasmum said...

Oh, Gin, that is so sad and yet so beautiful. I am praying for peace for you and thanks that your grandfather has gone home.

Anonymous said...

BEAUTIFULLY SAID! I will for sure keep you and your family in my prayers...

Britt :) said...

Oh Sweety... praying for you and your family. What beautiful words to celebrate his life. Thinking of you lots!

Linda Clark said...

That is so beautiful, Ginger. Powerful. Moving. Beautiful.

Emily said...

wow! amazing....

Mary Jane said...

May your personality attract the world, and continue the good virtue. So peace will rule the earth!

Have a nice day!

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it, but I'm afraid God would ask me the same question."
You don't change the world by trying to change the world; you change the world by changing yourself.
-Gerry Straub