Realizing Faith

Last night, I was sitting in bed wrapping up my reading and thinking about how important my books have become... Crazy Love - I've read it almost four times and it's changed me. Totally changed my life. My Bible - I love reading it. I never, ever thought I would enjoy reading the Bible as much as I do. I've read one version (almost completely) so far and am working on another. I actually miss reading when I skip a night. Jesus Calling - my most favorite daily devotional... ever! So Long Insecurity - Beth Moore's new book; I caved and decided to join the online book club for it and so far I'm behind three chapters. It's okay. I really like Beth Moore so I know I'll finish it...eventually! I have a stack of books beside my bed. It's probably pushing two feet high - I'm not even kidding!

So as I was about to close my eyes last night, I was just reflecting on how much I love my books and how much they have strengthened my relationship with God, when I realized that I don't need books. They have surely helped me, but Moses and Paul didn't have books. They wrote them! They had the REAL deal. They had GOD - Himself - speaking to them. I was thinking about how cool that was when I realized that I have that too! DUH! He speaks to me - I just don't always hear Him because I'm not listening.

My books are important to me, I look to them for guidance and for help when I need to understand something, but I often forget the One I need to look to most, the One who can actually answer me. It was a pretty big realization.

The next couple of months will hold some big changes - a lot of which may cause you to question my sanity for trying to do so much in a short period of time. The easy answer is, it makes sense for us. And so far, it works. If I was to make a list of the big changes we have coming up, I might have a mild breakdown - so I won't do that - but it's definitely caused me to rely on faith.

I've blogged about Francis Chan before - and I thought I posted this video - I think I did but the YouTube owner must have changed the link because it's another one now - here's the video though...



The first time I watched this, I was actually just starting to read Crazy Love - and I was on chapter four - Lukewarm Christians. Watching this was like seeing him make fun of me - for all to see. I realized that it really WAS me and I didn't want it to be.

I've struggled with faith over the last few years - I've questioned validity of all sorts of things and I still have no answers, but I'm learning to accept that. I'm learning to understand that I will never know because it is much bigger than I'm able to comprehend. Reminding myself that I never understood Algebra helps too because tons of other people get it and are so much smarter so of course God is going to be way smarter than what I could understand. (I have good logic, right?)

With all of these changes coming up - getting married, moving, finding a new job, etc... I'm oddly at peace with it all. It would be sooooo easy to stress about not having found a job yet, but I'm okay. I know the right job will come along and it is a piece to the puzzle - I know that we will be married whether or it pours rain or sun shines with dolphins swimming in the sound. I'm also learning that I really do have faith. I have it because I'm living by it.

I am finally doing things in my life that put me in a position to actually have to rely on faith. And with that, I'm also learning that it's the way He wants us to live. If we live comfortable and never have to rely on faith, then do we really have it? Or do we fall into a pattern of safety and arrogance because 'it's simple, God does bigger things.' If we live according to His plan, we rely on Him and we walk with Him. Living in His plan doesn't mean we are always comfortable, but it does mean that He is with us. In one of our last Bible Studies, Beth Moore talked about how we often don't feel His presence until we are in the storm. I've probably talked about this before, but it is so, so true.

Faith is believing in God - and acting on it. Living on faith. Stepping out. If for some reason the video above didn't work, this is the YouTube link.

Adios Noro!

I miss my blog!!! I hate only posting once/week... but this week I have a very legit reason for lack of posts - norovirus. Ugh, it was the worst! I have a super fab flat stomach now though! ;) I stayed in bed curled up all day on Monday and while I was talking to God during my awake moments, I couldn't help but think of Job. I thought I'd posted about Job but apparently I never put my thoughts on the screen... oops! While reading Job during my daily assignment in my NLT Chronological Bible, I couldn't help but wonder if I would still thank God during my times of pain - how did he manage to do that?! I'm such a baby and when I hurt, I'm pretty selfish about wanting to not hurt.

I did thank God though. It was the strangest thing... and I love, love, love that I'm doing this one-year reading plan! It has taught me so much that I think will continue to strengthen my faith. I was curled up in pain and half conscious most of the day, but I was thankful that I had a soft bed. I was thankful that I had running water (and a toilet, amen!). I was thankful that Nola was quiet and stayed with me. I was thankful she only had to go outside twice in the entire day. And I actually thanked God as I was crying in bed, bunched over like a crumpled piece of paper.

I'm sharing this, because I have grown. When I thought I was making strides on the path, I'm realizing that I've only just begun.

I wish we were friends in real life...

A facebook friend asked for a link to Malaika, after I posted it I couldn't help but watch more videos... Wombo Lombo is another favorite - thanks to one of my BFFs, Essi!




...and while I'm at it: Naima. Naima is her daughter, she wrote this song for her - so sweet!




Another good one, this video isn't great but it's funny at the beginning.

Can you tell I have this album? This is the song that made me love her.



I wish we were friends in real life. How much fun would that be?! I do know Georgeo Okudi. I have his cell. Don't believe me? Come over, we'll call him!

George won a KORA award for this song:



(KORA awards are similar to the Grammys!)

Here's another, you'll have to adjust the sound as it's not great.

Half the Sky LIVE - March 4th

A reader emailed me after my last post about Compassion. Check out the following for more information. Angelique Kidjo is one of my favorite singers! India.Arie makes an appearance as well. If you haven't heard her song 'Strength, Courage, & Wisdom,' you're missing out. And now that I've shared that, you should also listen to Angelique's version of 'Malaika' - my all time favorite song! Malaika is Kiswahili for 'angel.'

Do you sponsor?

I've been a child sponsor since 1993 (you do the math). It's something that I will always do. In 1997 I visited two of the girls I sponsored at the time, Monica and Mavis. That's another post, but it was an amazing experience. Right now, the children I sponsor are with Compassion International, but over the years I've had experience with a good number of organizations both large and small. Christian Children's Fund is probably my next favorite.

I love, love, love Compassion though and I love that they have a blog. A seemingly very transparent blog at that. Today's post featured a guest writer from India, Pastor Sam, of Immanuel Child Development Center. I wanted to share some of the words he wrote that basically jumped off the screen and screamed to my face:

"You play a major role in the development of children. You are instruments in the hands of God to demonstrate His care to children who don’t know what love is all about. When children receive no love at home, it’s common for them to seek from you the love they miss from their parents."

This is certainly NOT a new concept for me - not in the least. Between my travels, my experience with HAI, and the world as a whole, it is simply old news. What is different is that I can actually put a NAME and a FACE with what he said. It's not just "children." It's quite possibly MY CHILD. I use the term "my" loosely, but it's the way I think of the children I sponsor. I love them. I have learned what they like, what they are afraid of, what they pray for - intimate thoughts they choose to share with me about their daily life.

"When children receive no love at home..." WOW. I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I grew up in such a loving home... to have none, no love at all. What emptiness that would leave.

"...it's common for them to seek from you the love they miss from their parents." As a long-time sponsor, I sometimes take for granted what this whole business of 'child sponsorship' is really about. I send my monthly donation, I pray, I write letters - but I often forget what life is really like for my children. I forget that life is really hard and that is why I even know who they are. I forget that it is because of me that they are able to live better. Because of Compassion, my children are fed, cared for, loved. I don't know what their home life is like. I know what they tell me and what Compassion tells me in their updates, but I am not living it. I would like to think that my children are all deeply loved, but I am not there. Princy, my child in India, lives part of the year at a hostel so she can attend school. Her brother does the same. What is life like for her at home? Clara's mother used to write letters to me - I know she loves her daughter so much. Hilda always writes her letters from the student center. I don't know much about her mother or father other than that they live with her and her brothers.

"You are instruments in the hands of God to demonstrate His care to children who don’t know what love is all about." That's a big role. Sure, I know that I should be a role model for my sponsored children; I should always present myself as godly and as a good person, but to know that I am an instrument in God's hands. Um, did I sign up for that?! It's a pretty big role. And not a role to be taken lightly. These children -my children- are counting on me to not only help them continue to receive assistance from the student center, but to guide them spiritually - to teach them love. Exemplify love.

When Wess Stafford, president of Compassion, wrote Too Small To Ignore, I immediately bought and savored every bit of it. It basically says the same thing Pastor Sam said above, in many more words. For whatever reason though, I didn't get as much out of it as I did from Pastor Sam's blog today. I would encourage anyone who has children or works with children in the church to pick up a copy of Too Small To Ignore. It's a great book.

If you have any interest at all in sponsoring a child, but don't think you can afford the $38/month, I leave you with this from Pastor Sam:

"Even today, the Lord cries out with the same words that Isaiah heard, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

You are the ones who have responded to this call with the words “Here am I.” You are the ones who have responded to God’s commission."

Please read Pastor Sam's full blog post. It's pretty powerful. Maybe it will speak to you, maybe it won't, but sponsoring is one of the most rewarding things you can do. Until today, it never occurred to me that I might love my sponsored children more than their parents love them. I just cannot imagine. That sentence redefines child sponsorship for me.

Hope for Haiti

I almost forgot! Last weekend, I got an email from Wild Olive about their t-shirt for Haiti. 100% of the cost ($24.99) benefits Eyes Wide Open International. There doesn't appear to be a website but I loved the shirt and I trust Wild Olive's partners (based on their past partnerships), so I bought one. It arrived three days later! I'm wearing it today, which reminded me that I hadn't blogged about it yet. I put their button on my page. Check it out!

Domestications (that actually used to be the name of a company that is now called The Company Store and is a little better quality)

We had the best weather this weekend! Saturday was 57 and today was 61 - so warm! Since it was so nice, we decided to tackle one of our t0-be-done projects, painting furniture.

A few months ago, we started shopping for bedroom furniture since we are planning to get a new bed and both of our furniture sets are at least 300 years old. (Ok, almost 300 years old.) The more we thought about it and really looked at where we wanted to spend money, we realized that this wasn't one of our priorities. BUT - I still wanted a new look, so - let's paint! It's been sooo cold lately we just haven't felt like doing it, so this weekend's weather was perfect.

(I don't know why the pictures are so small, blogger's upload must be having a bad day.) It took us ALL day to get this done and we might have rushed it... there is a chance we'll be stripping and re-painting in a few weeks, but I LOVE the way it turned out.

It is going to look sooo nice with the grayish color I've picked for our bedroom. We'll also be painting another piece similar to this one that will be the same color with the same hardware (that I found for $1.47 a piece at Home Depot - score! We used different drawer pulls on the top drawer because those were smaller).

I also went out on a limb this weekend and tried three new recipies. They all turned out great! On Friday, we had this souffle - oh man, it was SO good! I added mushrooms and a tiny bit of green pepper. I probably wouldn't add the pepper next time but will always use mushroom! The pepper didn't make it bad, you just couldn't really tell they were in there. I also used regular monterrey jack cheese as I generally don't prefer too much flavor. I didn't have enough small baking dishes (might be updating our registry!) so we only made three, but they were delish! We saved the other one and ate it Saturday for brunch and it was great for a breakfast too and still tasted just as good as it did when I made them Friday. The fluff was gone but everything else was the same. I will be making this a LOT!

On Saturday, we had cinnamon bun pancakes - SO YUMMY and potato soup for dinner. I got the recipe for pancakes from Tastey Kitchen, Ree's cooking blog/community. Did you know that Pioneer Woman had that?! I didn't! I made the pancakes just as the recipe called but then added a lot more milk later because the pancakes were too thick and I was having trouble cooking them. The potato soup was REALLY good! I didn't use ham though as I don't eat meat and I added an extra chicken bouillon packet and some left over green onions from the souffle. I also added a little more butter and salt/pepper and milk. It was easy enough that you can pretty much modify it as needed and it was super easy. I'm learning that I really enjoy cooking and I actually eat a LOT less when I do cook because I'm so tired of being in the kitchen smelling the same things. Ha! Who knew that you could lose weight by cooking more?!

I have to share this, the ENTIRE time I was making the potato soup, I laughed because of THIS video my friend Liz showed me at work around Christmastime. I've never really used bouillon much and this is probably the first time in years that I've had to buy it and I just couldn't stop laughing about the "booyons" while I was cooking. You have to watch the video! It is hilarious!

Since I've become a weekend chef, if anyone has great recipes, send them my way! I'm thinking I might try this breakfast casserole this weekend. Looks yummy (with some modification of course)!